


Mad for You

by miss_murder



Category: Mad T Party Band
Genre: Angst, Animal Transformation, F/M, Forgiveness, Loss of Control, Regret, Romance, Secrets, Tension, Thackery wears glasses, Unofficial Family, Violence, Were-Creatures
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 07:06:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2803892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miss_murder/pseuds/miss_murder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rielle has a secret that she's been so careful to keep for years. But when it comes out, she runs. Because she runs, someone gets hurt. And because someone gets hurt, she tries to isolate herself for the good of the others.</p><p>#savemadtparty</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

One last strum of the guitar, a crash of drums, a belted out note that reverberated in my ears even through the screaming crowd. I was right along with them, cheering and whistling as the visually eccentric band exited the stage after their last set of the night. But something set me apart from the rest of the audience: I wasn’t from the Overland.

Of course I was from Underland, just like the rest of the band. I’m a Lunessia, a wolf-human. My appearance is human, although the triangular ears that peeked out of the massive mess of curls on my head were a little hard to hide sometimes, especially when they twitched at every new sound I picked up. As for now, they were hidden under a cadet cap. Even surrounded by people, I still felt my Lunessia urges trying to surface. I wanted to run as far and long as I could, and my heightened sight and hearing were a disadvantage in the crowded park.

The Overlanders would call me a “groupie”; I’m just really good friends with everyone on the stage.

After the majority of the crowd had dispersed, I slunk backstage and ditched my hat, shaking out my wild, olive brown curls. My poor ears twinged from being crushed. I whined and rubbed the hurt away, then ran through the maze of equipment until I spotted familiar teal ears.

I launched myself forward, latching my arms and legs around Thackery’s chest, grinning broadly. Maybe even… wolfishly. “You guys did so good tonight!” I cheered, resting my chin on top of Thack’s head.

Alice giggled. “Thanks, Rielle. I saw you from the stage, waving at us.”

Thack twisted, trying to look up at me without dumping me to the ground. “I saw you, too! Are you sure you’re okay out there with all those humans? I mean, I know how easy it would be for you to lose your hat, or something. We keep telling you, it’s no problem if you want to stay backstage.”

"Of course I don’t want to do that, silly bunny!" I jumped off his back, ignoring his grumbled protest about being a hare. "If I’m backstage, I can’t watch you guys perform! And I see no sense in that." That made them laugh.

"Well, I’m starving," Mally complained, heading deeper into the rabbit hole and back to Underland and home. Well, the big house the band lived in together was shared by them, but I was over there enough that it could have been a second home. But I preferred my hollow in the woods.

"I could whip up something in a flash," Chessur offered, suddenly materializing with one arm around the blond’s shoulders.

"NO!" we all chorused, then fell into laughter.

"We’ll eat when we get back," Tarrant said, and we all started to follow him through Nivens’s portal. "I believe it’s my turn to cook."

"I think you mean our turn, darling,” Alice corrected. She didn’t really trust Tarrant in the kitchen on his own in case he had a fit of Madness. He didn’t have as good of a hold on it as Thackery did.

While Alice and Tarrant bickered, I turned my attention to Thackery. He kept blinking rapidly and rubbing his eyes. “Something wrong, Thack?” I asked sweetly.

"Nothing of importance, Rielle," he said, blinking again like he was trying to get something out of his eye. "I just left my glasses at the house this morning and haven’t worn them all day, so my eyes are starting to hurt."

I giggled and pulled a smooth black case out of my pocket, where I’d stuck it before going to the Overland. “How wonderful am I?” I teased as he slid on the black frames, blinking a few times as his eyes adjusted.

Thackery grinned and ruffled my curls. “So fantastically wonderful, you have saved me from a killer migraine later.” I grinned and puffed out my chest proudly. “Are you going out with your pack tonight?”

My smile fell. Ah yes, my pack. My pack of other Lunessias that I’d invented so my friends wouldn’t worry about me being alone all the time. In truth, I was the last Lunessia left after the Great War. Just like how Thack was the last of his kind, as well.

"Oh, um…" I fumbled for a response, a believable excuse to slink back to my hollow and sleep before midnight. It was the night before the full moon, after all, though Absolem was probably the only one who realized it. He was always the one I could go to for help with my special form of Madness. "I… I, uh…"

"You should come with us tonight!" Tarrant chipped from the front, obviously through with his culinary disagreement with Alice. "You’re always out with your pack lately, come over!"

I bit my lip, hazarding a glance behind me at the caterpillar. He wasn’t paying attention and therefore wasn’t any help. I huffed. 

"Well… I suppose I can stay for a little while." 

————-

"A little while" actually turned into several hours, though completely by accident. It was just so easy to let time slip through my fingers when I was having so much fun with them. 

We were in the middle of a game Tarrant called "Table Top", which involved several random objects and incredible balance, when I looked at the clock and shrieked, sending several books and a sealed bag of rice tumbling to the floor. 

"I have to go!" I hurriedly mumbled, rushing around the room for my things. Where was my other boot?! Oh yes, on top of Mally’s head. I grabbed it and yanked it on.

"Rielle, wait!" Alice called after me. "Where do you have to be in such a hurry?"

"Sorry, Alice!" was all the explanation I offered, rushing out the door and towards the woods. 

I couldn’t believe it was eleven-thirty already. Another half hour and everyone in that house would have been in danger. Now that I wasn’t distracted, I could feel the insatiable burning coursing through my veins like fire, pooling into an aching knot right in the middle of my chest. It wouldn’t be long until I lost all control of my urges and became a dangerous monster to everyone around me for the next twenty-four hours. 

I prayed, for my friends’ safeties, that no one had followed me. Dropping to all fours, I lowered my guard and howled to the lonely night.

————-

It was noon the next day when I heard a branch crack. 

I’d made it back to the hollow in time to hide away and make sure no one found me before the Wolf emerged. But after just a couple hours of fitful sleep, I couldn’t stay still any longer. I ran, pushed down a few trees, and ran again until my legs were about to give out, but it still wasn’t enough. So, I paced the expanse of clearing about a mile from my hollow. 

I tensed when I heard the nearby snap. All of my muscles contracted like a tightly coiled spring, ready to attack at the slightest sign of threat. “Who goes there?” I growled in a voice so much deeper and more animalistic than my own, it startled even me.

Silence as the intruder struggled to climb over one of the trees I’d pushed over.

"Who goes there?!" I said again, louder. Then the smell hit me. Stardust, moss, sage, with underlying traces of mint, cedar, spice, and moonlight. The smell of someone who collects things out of habit.

_Thackery_.

Oh no, not him. I would never forgive myself if he got hurt. 

I started to back away as the man came into view, calling my name. No, no, no, this was all wrong! He couldn’t see me like this!

“Stay away…” I warned, slowly reversing back into the shadows.  “Thackery, please… stay away.” 

Thack froze when he saw me, eyes wide. He took a moment to connect the voice he heard to the monster. “R-… Rielle?”

I shrunk away. “Go away,” I growled. “Please… I’m hideous.” I knew I was. Not only did the Wolf take hold of my mind during the day and night of the full moon, but my body as well.

I looked like a mad science experiment gone horribly wrong, standing on all four grotesquely long limbs, as thick as Thack’s bass was wide, and I’d developed a wolfish, elongated face with razor sharp teeth and evil, red eyes. My whole body was covered with thick, coarse fur the same color as my usual hair. Shredded remnants of clothes I hadn’t had time to take off still clung to my body in a valiant effort to offer some sort of decency when I changed back.

Thackery - out of fear, shock, or disgust, I couldn’t tell - stayed rooted to his spot, just staring at me with those big, mismatched eyes of his. “Rielle…” he breathed, “what… what happened to you?”

I kept trying to shrink back into the shadows. I couldn’t go back to my hollow anymore, he’d just follow me. And I couldn’t risk that. “Get away from me, Thackery,” I warned in that awful, inhuman voice. “Please… I don’t want to hurt you.” 

Thackery took a step forward. I dropped back into that coiled position, growling. He paused, then slowly took another step. “I don’t believe you, he said slowly, carefully picking his words without looking away. “I don’t believe that you would hurt me.” 

With each step he took, I had to tighten my mental grip on the Wolf. It wanted me to attack and kill him, but I had to hold it back. The effort was so hard, it was becoming hard to breathe. My claws flexed, digging furrows in the mossy earth. 

"I can’t…" I panted, desperate for him to understand and run. “I can’t hold it back… for much longer. Please, Thack… _run away_.” 

"And I can’t just leave you alone like this. Come back with me, Rielle, we can help you." Thackery reached out to touch my snout, but that was his mistake.

The metaphorical leash snapped, and my pupils shrunk to pinpoints.

A monstrous roar erupted from my throat. I reached out and smacked him with a paw about as big as his head, and he went flying backwards into a tree, falling into the dirt below. He shook his head, pushing away some disorientation and looking at me with wide, terrified eyes. He finally understood.

“GET AWAY!" I roared. No, it wasn’t me. The Wolf had taken control of my mind; I was helpless in my own body. I swiped at him again. The Wolf was twistedly satisfied when my claws tore through his flesh, leaving four long gashes on his bicep and chest. Thackery cried out in pain, clutching at the wounds to try and stop the bleeding. 

Using all my strength, whatever little was left, I stepped back, realizing in horror what I’d done. Ashamed and scared, I turned and ran further into the woods, fat tears leaking out of my lupine eyes.

I pleaded mentally with Thackery to have enough common sense to go home instead of follow me.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After realizing what she'd done to Thackery, Rielle hides to keep from hurting anyone else. She believes herself to be a monster.

“I don’t understand…” Thackery said a couple hours later, now sitting shirtless in the kitchen, woozy and disoriented from blood loss, surrounded by the rest of his friends as Chessur bandaged his arm and chest. The Cheshire may be a little offsetting, but everyone trusted him most when it came to healing.

Thack rested his forehead in his good hand, head still spinning. “It didn’t even look like her, but I felt like it was. She knew who I was, at least.”

Alice worried her lip between her teeth. “Why wasn’t her pack around? Surely they must know, and they should be helping her!” No one had an answer.

“You’re sure she was alone? The others weren’t like… out hunting or something?”

Thack shook his head. “Hers were the only footprints I saw.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes. “You should have seen her. Oh, she looked so scared…” He remembered the way Rielle had pleaded with him to stay away, and the terror in her eyes as she stood over him. If only he’d listened to her…

“What I don’t understand,” said Tarrant, who had been constantly wrapping and unwrapping a silk ribbon around his wrist, “is what exactly is affecting her, and why she didn’t tell us.”

“Do you think it’s Madness?” Mallyumkin offered.

Absolem, who’d been hanging back and chewing on a straw since he couldn’t bring his hookah out of his room, hung his head slightly. He was in the middle of a moral war. He’d promised Rielle to keep the Wolf a secret, but telling the others would ease their fears, at least a little.

Thackery shook his head again, reaching for his torn shirt now that Chess was finished. “If it is, it’s not the same as what Tarrant and I have. She looked absolutely nothing like herself, and acted nearly opposite of how she usually is. Even her voice changed. I don’t think it’s Madness.” He sighed.

“Maybe it has something to do with the full moon,” Tarrant provided. “Lunessias are part wolf, after all.”

“You’re right,” Alice said. “And if that’s the case, it would subside at midnight, right?” Everyone nodded. “That’s only…” - she looked at the clock - “ten hours away. Then, I’m going after her.”

The chorus of “no”s lasted several seconds.

“Alice, you can’t!” Tarrant cried in dismay.

“Look what she did to Thack!” Mally added, gesturing to their injured friend. “Besides, the midnight thing is only a theory based on what we have experienced before, but this is nothing like that! We don’t even know if she’ll be back to normal tomorrow!”

Alice balled her hands into fists at her sides, stamping her foot indignantly. “She _needs_ us!” she argued. “Rielle isn’t getting any help from her pack, so we are the only thing she’s got left!”

Absolem sighed. “I have to agree with Alice. Going after midnight will ensure that Rielle will be herself again. And she will talk to Alice easier than any of the rest of us.” Alice smirked triumphantly.

The boys frowned, not liking it one bit but not able to argue with the wisest being in all of Underland. He never lied and said things as they were, so if he said sending Alice was best, it was best.

Thackery groaned and stretched his wounded arm, grimacing. It was sore and stiff, but workable. At least he could still play bass. He gazed out at the woods, mind far from easy. He swore he heard a wolf howling.

"Oh, Rielle…" he sighed quietly, "you know you can tell us everything. Why keep this a secret?"

—-:—-:—-

At eleven, I could feel the heat slowly starting to cool, the anger mellowing out little by little. At eleven-thirty, I could think rationally, and my bones and muscles started shifting back into their original forms. But with the liberation of my mind came a flood of memories from the past twenty-four hours, and the entirety of what I’d done to one of my best friends came crashing down on me. By midnight, I was curled in a ball inside my room, back to my human form, nearly naked and bawling.

I’d hurt Thackery. He was only trying to help, and I’d hurt him. And what was worse, the Wolf liked it. It made me crave for more, have a burning desire to sink my claws into something living and tear it apart.

I’d gone after a flock of Jubjub birds after leaving Thack, running after them until I barely had enough strength to crawl back into my hollow as the change started. And still, my tears came. I didn’t even get up to get dressed, I was so distraught. I never wanted to move again knowing I’d made Thackery bleed.

About an hour after midnight, I heard someone calling my name. “Rielle? Rie—lle!” The voice sounded familiar, but I was in a haze and couldn’t place it. My strength was gone, like it always was for several hours after the change, so I didn’t go out to see who it was. I could hardly even see through my tears.

After a few minutes, I felt a warm, gentle hand touch my shoulder. I gasped and flinched at the touch. Slowly lifting my head, and blinking away the tears, Alice’s kind face appeared in my sight. She smiled gently. "Alice…" I croaked.

"Shh… it’s okay," she crooned, pushing my hair off my face. She was acting like a mother hen, and I would have smiled had I not been so upset. Then again, that was just how Alice was usually.

She helped me dress, made sure I ate some, then sat me on the floor in front of my bed. She sat behind me and started running her fingers through my hair, softly coaxing it into a complicated braid. I was quiet this whole time, just sniffling and wiping my eyes. And Alice, bless her heart, didn’t push me to talk. She was just quiet along with me.

While she played with my hair, I looked at my hands; at my fingers that had been paws not too long ago, and perfectly filed nails that had been claws. Claws that the Wolf… that _I_ had used to hurt Thackery. My throat tightened, and I balled my hands in my lap.

"Did I hurt Thack?" I whispered, unsure if she’d even heard me.

Alice sighed and kissed the top of my head, squeezing my shoulders. "Yes. But he's okay now." I bit my lip, squeezing my eyes shut as the urge to cry swelled up in me again. “I had to talk him out of coming after you himself,” Alice continued, resuming her braiding. “Everyone’s so worried about you.”

I clenched my jaw, nails biting into my palms. “They shouldn’t be worried, they should be afraid. I’m a monster, Alice. I become that way for twenty-four hours every single month. I’m dangerous.”

"Well, so is Thackery in March. It’s nothing to be asha-"

"You don’t get it!" I turned around to look at her, eyes brimming with tears again. Hadn’t I cried enough? "Thackery is consumed with lust during his Madness, but he’d never actually hurt someone. I’m consumed with anger and rage. It takes all of my power not to run off on a rampage, because I know that if I do that…" I hiccuped, wiping my eyes with the back of my hand like a child, "if I do that, I could kill people without a thought." I sobbed into my hands. "I could kill people like that… I don’t want to. I don’t want to be a murderer."

Alice shushed me again, wrapping her arms around my shoulders. “Rielle, Rielle… hush now, it’s okay. You’re not a murderer.”

I hiccuped again, and Alice sighed. “Why won’t your pack help you through this?” she asked.

Ah, the dreaded question, the response to which I’d been avoiding for months. I didn’t answer. I just slowly pulled away from Alice’s tender embrace.

She looked confused. “Rielle?” She peered at me. I could see in her eyes that she was mentally putting it together, piece by piece. “Why won’t your pack help you?”

I hugged my knees.

"Are they far away?"

I buried my face in my arms.

Silence. “Rielle, where is your pack?”

All of my muscles tensed.

In a voice barely above a whisper, I managed to say, “I’m so sorry, Alice.”

Painful silence. The kind that cut you down to the bone, and that lasted for far too long.

I peeked over my arms, prepared for shooting daggers and venomous looks. But all I saw from Alice was… confusion, and a little hurt. But I saw her trying to fit that last puzzle piece in, twisting and turning it without result.

"Did… did you kill them?" she asked, almost scared.

I shook my head quickly. “Oh no… I’ve never killed anyone. Not even in the war, I… I didn’t even fight.”

At the mention of the war, I could see it in her mind - the last piece falling into place with a solid thunk.

"You don’t have a pack…"

All I could manage was a nod.

————-

It wasn’t anger that I recieved. No, she managed to stay calm and let me explain everything, from the beginning. She was upset with me for lying for so long, but who wouldn’t be? But she understood, or at least tried to. And I was so grateful to her for that.

The sun was starting to rise by the time I had finished my story. And even though I was scared of what she would think as well as everyone else when I would inevitably have to face them, the coming of the dawn brought with it a feeling of newness. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest, and I could breathe again.

After I finished, we were both quiet for a long time. Eventually, Alice stood up and brushed out her skirt, reaching her hand out to me from my spot on the floor. Oddest of all, she was smiling. Not a bright smile or one full of joy, but the soft, understanding smile when things torn apart are beginning to knit together again. “Come on,” she said quietly, pulling me to my feet.

I didn’t have to ask where we were going. But I closed my eyes and shook my head. “I can’t,” I whispered. “I can’t face them… or Thackery.”

Alice brushed a lock of hair behind my ear and squeezed my shoulder. “They all need to see you,” she urged. “They need to know you’re okay. Especially Thackery.”

I sighed. I couldn’t hide from them forever, and I needed to put my friends’ minds to rest. Better now than later. “Okay. Let’s go.”

————-

When we got to the house, everyone, even Chess and Absolem, ran out the front door to swallow us both in a huge group hug. Tarrant wouldn’t stop fussing over Alice, checking her all over to make sure she wasn’t hurt, even after she told him repeatedly that she was okay. Thackery, however, hung back. My heart twisted painfully. When I saw him looking at me, I just looked away.

We all gathered in the living room, and Alice retold everything I’d said to her, sparing me from having to tell it all again. She only looked to me for clarification or to fill in the bits she didn’t know.

Weakened by the change and exhausted from hours of crying, I curled up against the arm of the sofa, occasionally drifting off. All I wanted was sleep, but there were more important things I had to do first. And as I expected, there was silence after Alice had finished. Why was it that no sound at all hurt me more than harsh words? 

After what seemed like hours, Tarrant was the first to speak. “Why didn’t you just tell us sooner? We could help you.”

I shook my head. “There’s nothing I can do about it. Believe me, I’ve tried everything. There’s no escaping it or changing it.” I shrugged. ”It’s just who I am.”

"But why didn’t you _tell_ us?”

I was quiet, thinking for a few moments. What was the real reason I hadn’t told them? “I guess… I was afraid. Afraid that you’d be scared of me and call me a monster.” I frowned and laid my head back on the sofa arm. “I only realized yesterday that I really am one.”

No one moved except to look at their laps. Thackery unconsciously rubbed the sleeve of his injured arm.

"You’re not a monster," Chessur finally said. "You’re just… different. We all are, that’s how we’ve come together. That’s why we stick together. Because without each other… what else do we have?"

I looked up, casting my gaze around the room at my six dearest friends in the whole world. We really were a ragtag bunch of oddities, the square pegs in round holes that fit but didn’t quite belong. Chessur was right, and I smiled.

"You guys…" I sighed, feeling my eyes start to burn again. But this time, they were filled with tears of gratitude and happiness. I got up and slowly made my way around the room, hugging each individual person. Even Thack, though it was short and I didn’t look up at him.

"Thank you. For being my pack."

————-

Alice offered me her room, seeing that I was nearly dead on my feet, so I could get some well-earned sleep. I graciously thanked her and all but collapsed into the bed, asleep as soon as my head hit the pillows. I might as well have become a Dormouse, because I slept through the day and some of the evening. Alice’s little wall clock was chiming seven-thirty when I finally awoke.

After eating a little dinner that Mally had kept warm for me, I sighed and rubbed my forehead, realizing that I still had one thing left to do. I knew it was time to talk to Thackery, to apologize.

I made my way down the hall to his door, taking in the sweet, earthy smell that had surrounded him in the forest, and that followed him wherever he went. The scent of found treasure and collected things. Thack’s smell.

Before I’d lifted my hand to knock, the door opened, and I was faced with all six-foot-four of the March Hare. Who, to my shock and his obvious embarrassment, was bare-chested. My gaze drifted to the white bandages circling his bicep and some of his chest. They looked clean, fresh. A dark blue mist that drifted out from under Thackery’s arms told all.

"Rielle…" Thack murmured, blushing. "I… Um, I… Chess was just… he changed the…"

I looked at my hands. “I’m so sorry…” I murmured. “I really am.”

Thackery’s expression softened, and he stepped aside to let me into the room. “Sorry for what?” He closed the door and pulled a midnight blue t-shirt from off the back of a chair.

"For… for hurting you!"

"It’s okay," he muttered, pulling the shirt on. "You… I know it wan’t really you."

"But… But I…" I fumbled for the right words. "I should have stopped it, though! I should have taken control just long enough to stop it from hurting you, but I didn’t!”

"Rielle." The way he said my name, so finite and unwavering, made me stop and look up at him. I really looked, meeting his green and purple eyes with my gold ones. He held me at arm’s length by my shoulders, bending down to my level.

"I don’t blame you. I’m not even angry about getting hurt. I’m angry because that… thing takes control of you, and I can’t help you. I’m angry because the things it does to you and makes you do… they made you cry.”

I blinked, not quite understanding.

He cupped my cheek gently, running his calloused thumb over my high cheekbone. “You’re the last of your kind. Believe me, I know how you feel. And if something happened to you and I couldn’t reach you in time to stop it… I don’t think I’d be able to live with myself.”

He’d lost me. My face must have showed it. Thackery groaned and scrubbed a hand over his face, mumbling something along the lines of “Why is this so hard”. He fumbled with his words, starting several sentences but dropping off after a few words. Honestly, I found it cute and quite amusing, watching him stumble over his words when he was usually so articulate. Plus, he was getting flustered. His red face looked screamingly funny against his black hair and teal ears.

I must have giggled, because he stopped rambling and looked at me. "Do you know what I’m trying to say?" he pleaded, sounding exasperated.

I shook my head. “Not a clue.”

The hare threw his hands in the air, surrendering. I laughed, but didn’t have time to utter even a gasp before Thackery swept down and wrapped his arms around me, drawing me into a kiss. Not soft, not rough, but enough to make my eyes grow to the size of tea saucers. After a moment he pulled back, but my expression hadn’t changed. "Did that make things any clearer?" he mumbled, cheeks still flaming red.

I blinked a few times. Then, all of my muscles relaxed. I nearly melted into his arms. I offered him a lazy smile and draped my arms over his shoulders. “Oh yeah. Crystal clear,” I muttered, standing on my toes to kiss him again.

His arms tightened around me like he would never let me go again. And I didn’t have a problem with that, I quickly found out. Thack buried one hand deep in my curls, pulling away just slightly. I could feel his warm breath rolling across my neck, a sensation I found exhilarating.

"We’re both the last of our kinds," he crooned. "That should count for something, right?"

I nodded and smiled, combing one hand through his hair. “Oh, definitely.”

He smiled and kissed me once more, resting his cheek on top of my head. “I love you, Rielle, and I have for a long time. I just didn’t know when to tell you. I don’t care that you have… your Madness, and I don’t care that I might get hurt. I just want to be near you and help you in every little way I can.”

I hummed, snuggling into his chest. “I believe you,” I admitted quietly. “And I promise… I’m not going to keep any more important secrets from you again. Because I love you, too.”

He smiled and kissed my forehead. “That’s all I can ask.”


End file.
